Every year I’m given the decision to go live with my mom in Colorado Springs or live with my dad in Salida. It never gets easier to make that decision. I never want to hurt their feelings because I love them both so much, but not seeing one of them for over a few months is so hard. Trying to divide up holidays and birthdays evenly are all my choice, but when I choose it feels like it was the wrong decision.

When my mom first moved, I knew I wanted to try it up there. I got registered into the middle school, and packed up the house. Leaving the only town I have ever known was challenging. Seeing the river, and the parks as I left was like breaking off a piece of myself, and leaving it behind. I said goodbye to all of my friends, and I was off. 

The first day of  school was hard. This was still in covid times, so we were half online, half in person. I was with the same 14 kids the whole year, so it was hard to make new friends and branch out. Playing sports also didn’t help to make friends, because the golf team were all strong headed boys. I also didn’t feel very motivated to get good grades.

I constantly called my friends in Salida, but sometimes it wasn’t enough. Seeing them hang out without me stung a little bit. I think we all put on a strong face, but deep down it was really hard. When I was down for a visit it felt like magic; like kids discovering the North pole. I don’t want to get the wrong impression, moving to Springs was also super nice because it was in a big city, I had every store right at my finger tips. I was also with my mom and my cat Ally, which was amazing. 

I knew at the end of 8th grade I wanted to go back to Salida, to be with the kids I have known my whole life. I came back the summer of 8th grade year, and it was probably the best summer of my life. I still miss Colorado Springs sometimes, because it’s where my mom is. My mom is my best friend, but so is my dad, so being 103 miles from one of them feels constantly like a heartbreak.