My brother is five years older than me. I’ve always seen him as a smart, independent, strong and super amazing older brother. He was the one that taught me everything. He taught me how to tie my shoes and how to be a respectful, kind person. We went through everything together. I was even there for pickups and drop offs with his biological dad, crying in my car seat as soon as the door closed. He has been the biggest inspiration of my entire life. I’ve always looked up to him so immeasurably, and I still do.
In everything that he has done in his life, he’s been so incredibly tough. He’s cared and taken care of me for my entire life, so, in some ways, I feel like it’s my job to take care of him now as we get older. My brother struggles with Sickle Cell Disease and has been in and out of the hospital for a while.
I still remember the first time I was in those plastic ER chairs and physically couldn’t sit there and watch him in that much pain. I’ve seen him rolling around in excruciating discomfort and that really took a toll on me. As a 13-14 year old, watching your sibling go through something like this changes you- not really for the worse, but also not really for the better. I saw him be strong, and that has encouraged me to be strong as well.
As I said, he has been my number one throughout my entire life. My brother first went to the hospital last year in November. I spent that night at my grandma’s house. The next morning I went to see him at the hospital here in Salida. His oxygen was super low and they were thinking about flying him to Colorado Springs. That didn’t end up happening until that night. I can still hear my moms panicked voice when the first helicopter went up into the air then came right back down. The oxygen wasn’t working in that one, so we waited for another one to fly here. It felt like an eternity waiting for that second helicopter to get here, but, when it did, an overwhelming feeling of relief overtook my body. Sure they got him to Springs fast, but the car ride to Springs and to the hospital was completely silent. My whole family was worried out of our minds.
He first went to the ICU and was not getting better. Seeing him almost die in the ICU was probably the most traumatic thing I’ve ever experienced. After the ICU, we were taken to a bigger room. More family came to visit here and there, but really it was just the four of us. Then after the big room we were taken to an “isolation” room. Four yellow walls surrounded my entire family for the next few days until it was time for me to go home. Leaving my brother that day felt like the world was ending. All I wanted to be was there for him and for the rest of my family. He’s a fighter and has never given up. Doctor appointment day has always been scary. When I’m in the hospital lighting, watching him get needles shoved all over his body, it feels like nothing else matters in the world except for him and his health.
I never want to be apart from him because I’m scared for the future. Sickle Cell Disease can be triggered in many different ways. A couple things that can trigger it are elevation and temperature. Salida has a pretty brutal winter and a hot summer, which doesn’t benefit his health at all. Salida is also 7,083 feet in elevation so this is also a worry. We have thought about moving to help his health, and of course I would gladly do anything for him even if that meant leaving here. Salida is my home though, I was born here and have lived here my whole life. Salida means a lot to me. I’ve learned to appreciate this small town. Growing up here I know everyone so if we did move, it would be really heartbreaking. Change is always hard, which is another reason that this curve ball that has been thrown at us has been difficult. Although another benefit of a small town is that this whole community has each other’s backs. They have held us up during these episodes of crisis, and we’re so unbelievably grateful. They have supported us with thoughts, prayers, and overall people to turn to or talk to. A family friend, Liz McQueen, started a Go Fund Me for me and my family, and it has helped so much. To anyone who has donated or even shared it, or really has been there for us at all we appreciate you so tremendously.
