Have you ever heard the expression quality over quantity? My family (mostly my mom) taught me the “quality over quantity” saying. She held me and comforted me when I came home from school upset because of mean “friends.” Growing up, that saying was nailed into my head, so now that saying is on repeat in my mind.
I’ve learned that I am a very sensitive person and take everything personally. Therefore,when people say mean things to me I try to change myself to be liked or try to not show that it hurt me, but then I carry that thing they said for a while. I’m still holding onto things that were said in sixth grade and before. I still occasionally get hurt by things, of course, but when I do, I try not to take it to heart.
However, I’ve learned to be confident in my own skin. I think that learning to be confident with yourself is what really matters. Being confident in yourself doesn’t only refer to your appearance, it also can be internally, which is basically saying that you know that you’re a good human on the inside. Focusing on being better than the people that barely know me and letting things roll off your back is something that is really hard, and it’s also something that has to do with the way your brain thinks about things.
Would you rather have a ton of people in your life that try to control you and who don’t like spending time with you, OR would you rather have that one friend who loves you for you and doesn’t drain your social battery and who you can literally lay in bed with you and watch Tik Tok with and you never get sick of their company? It is important to know what you want in a friend.
Personally, I know what I want in a friend and that is someone who is not controlling and not manipulative so that they let me be me and accept me for who I genuinely am. This is where the quality over quantity piece comes in. One thing I love about my best friend is that she has my back no matter what, even if we are wrong in the situation or she’s lying about something for me. The important thing to be conscious of is that you DO NOT pressure your friends to lie for you and you CANNOT blackmail them into doing things they don’t want to do because that makes you a bad friend.
The other important thing is consistency. When you keep changing friends, you will eventually run out of people to be friends with. In a small town, it can be extremely hard to find that one person you fit so well with, but, trust me, when you find that person, your bond is unbreakable. When you find a good enough friend, you can not hang out and not talk for weeks at a time but the second you hang out again or you even just facetime you pick up right where you left off. Like no time was missed at all. That is something that I am most grateful for with my best friend.
