College has been one of the things I have looked forward to most of my life, but now that I have chosen where I want to be, I feel more anxious than ever. The idea of leaving everything I’ve known behind is terrifying. I have spent most of my life in the same town with the same people, even in the same house. The only big change in my life was when my parents got divorced, but even then, I still saw them the same amount of time as I did before. I was still in the same school with the same people. The change of moving to a new town is overwhelming, let alone a new country. I know no one is going to the same university. This will be the biggest change I’ve ever experienced. And while I am so excited to be in a new place with new people, I still feel bittersweet.

I’ve met some of the most amazing people, and I cannot believe I will have to move away from them. They are part of the reason I keep going and trying new things. One of my many worries is that I won’t meet people that I bond with as well as I have here, and that I’ve already given all of my love away. I remind myself that love is infinite, that I can still love and have a friendship with the people I’ve met, and that there are more people out there that I will love. That I’ve only met a small number of the people I will in my lifetime. There are so many more people, places, and experiences that I will meet, go to, and experience.

I have so many questions, and many of them I can’t even begin to put into words. I don’t know what answers I’m looking for. I just want to know it will all work out. I’ve always found it hard to jump into new experiences blindly, but at some point, I have to try new things, or I will find myself stuck in the same loop for the rest of my life. One of my biggest fears is that I will wake up one day in a life where I have no passion or excitement, so I’m choosing to throw myself headfirst into this new opportunity. I have to remind myself that life doesn’t end when I try something new. My friends and family will still be there for me. My bed will not disappear when I find a different one. Other doors will not close just because I walk through another.