For many athletes, there comes a time when the love and motivation for their sport turns into an overwhelming amount of pressure. Feelings of dread and aversion begin to replace the joy and excitement that used to be there when arriving at practice. I didn’t previously think about expectations and results, but somewhere along the way that feeling changed. Now when I go to practice, I often dread it and don’t entirely want to go. The runs feel repetitive, easy days feel exhausting and the pressure to continue is deafening. 

When you’ve loved a sport for as long as I have, it’s not an option to start hating it and it’s definitely not an option to quit. At this point in my life, running has become a chore to endure instead of something I love. But that’s not an option—I don’t have the choice to quit and join a different sport. I’ve built connections with my team and set goals that I haven’t yet accomplished. Even though these feelings are painful, it would be more painful to miss out on memories and connections with this team over the next three years. Along with the pain that comes with missing out, there would be guilt. Guilt for not running with my best friend, for leaving the only sport I’ve ever known and for quitting on myself. 

So, when quitting isn’t an option, what do you do? I can’t keep running weeks on end and hating it while I do. That may have worked for the past couple months, but that’s not a long-term option. Not liking the runs that your friends rave about can feel embarrassing and feel like you’re being left behind, but it’s not your fault. Everyone goes through a time in their sport where it starts to feel more like a job than a vacation from life. I’ve found that the real issue is that  staying in the sport hurts but quitting it also hurts, but it’s all about which hurts more. For me, I can’t imagine a life where I don’t get to run with my friends and get to experience those days where the weather’s amazing, the conversation’s intriguing and your body feels like it has never been injured. 

Now that I’ve named the best option, how do I fall back in love with running? I don’t know the answer to this question because I haven’t realized it myself, but I do know that loving a sport doesn’t mean the days are always great and you’re always pumped to run. I think loving a sport means realizing the value it brings to your life and learning to focus on what you love about it instead of dwelling on the ways it hurts.